I never truly believe that people really read what I write. Writing is a daily discipline and practice, whether it be through a journal or in this public, yet very private, domain. I write because I enjoy the process, the way my hand moves along a sheet of paper or listening to the music made in the moments my fingers touch each key. Over time, I’ve learned to write because I enjoy writing and have only hope to believe that sharing my thoughts with each of you will continue to nurture the budding seeds within us that tell us we are never alone.
Well, thanks to you, my self-conscious belief that no one reads my ramblings was blown right out of the water once I clicked “publish” on this post.
More often than not, when I’m able to summon up the courage and embrace potential awkwardness, what is shared between myself and others often sparks a deeper connection and conversation that not only decreases feelings of isolation but also increases courage and compassion with one another (Thank you Brene Brown for helping me put words to many of these understandings).
Many of you have continued to be interested in what decision Jake and I are going to make regarding the numerical size of our family. Simply put, are we going to have another kid or not?
Well friends, the jury decision is still up for grabs and I don’t see a conclusion coming in the near future. It’s a hit or miss on any given day. Convictions are strong, feelings ebb and flow.
What has been most interesting, though, are your thoughts about whether you and your family should have another kid.
What rich conversations we have had together over the last few weeks because, come to find out, you, too, are struggling with many of the very same questions and convictions we are in regards to this very same issue. Who knew?
But this one question is only a fraction of who you are and how you make decisions.
You have such passionate and compassionate hearts, minds and hands.
You are brave in your thoughts and questions.
You are seeking a different way to demonstrate and live the Kingdom here on earth.
You pose such significant and thoughtful questions and hopes in regards to how your choice to have another kid will impact your relationships within your home, within your community, within your life with God.
You also are full of wonder. Wondering if others feel the same, and in the “meanwhile”, feel alone, selfish, hesitant.
It’s a crap shoot to find those in life we feel comfortable sharing these intimate thoughts, wonders and questions with. It’s been an honor over the last few weeks to hear your reasons and what drives your decision to have another child or not.
You are so much more rich in your convictions and beliefs than I ever take time to give you credit for. I need to take more time to sit and listen with each of you. So much courage I have to glean.
You are deep and oh so very intentional.
Thank you for teaching me through our conversations together and for feeling open enough to share your struggles and ponderings.
In light of these beautiful discussions we are going to continue in the conversation. Not simply just in the conversation of , “Should we have another kid or what?”, but in the marrow of factors that are driving us and challenging us to make these big decisions.
Vulnerability is a powerful being and the summoning up of courage to begin the conversation is both fear inducing and imperative.
It’s vital in our lives with Christ and the essence to creating and being in true community with one another.
In the weeks to come we are going to begin to expose, discuss and share together reasons why we make the decisions we do as we explore together this life in the suburbs.
Holding hands, wrapping arms or shaking fists, we’re going to navigate some of the hard questions that we ask ourselves, that are the linchpin to many of the decisions we make but often leave us feeling alone.
It’s a threatening ride, these discussions. But as John Wayne once shared, “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.”
So saddle up my friends, let the hard questions, deep hearts, strong convictions and conversations begin.
Will you join us?